If France falls, all of Civilization falls with it.

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Doff your caps, gentlemen...

My child attends one of those elite pre-schools on the west side of Los Angeles. It is, perhaps, among the most desirable pre-school in Los Angeles. Not necessarily for the children, but for the parents. Bragging rights and whatnot. Terrible anguish if "Madison" doesn't get in, etc.

At any rate, there was a holiday show put on by the children, in a building attached to the school. Parents attended the mid-day performance. Everyone was dressed appropriately with the exception of a few of the "A" List parents.

What the hell is the world-famous, highest-grossing director of sentimental pap in the world doing with a bloody baseball cap on his head whilst seated in the church pew for the duration of the performance? What's his creepy wife doing with a wool knit cap pulled down past her eyes? Do they not know that this "look" makes them stand out? It's been pointed out to me that this is entirely the point. That the baseball cap is this slob's signature "uniform." Contrary to what one would imagine, such a look isn't a disguise but a signpost. Can this possibly be true? Hey bro, there's nothing worse in my book than having the resources to kit yourself out paired with the inability to do so. You get an "F" in aesthetics.

In addition, another celebrity violated the "don't stand up and take pics until the end of the performance" rule. He too was wearing a baseball cap. He's gonna block everyone's view now? Is he so full of hubris? Has he been so enabled by sycophants and yes-men that he doesn't think the rules apply to him?

Standing-up-in-everyone's-way-and-block-the-view-of-all-the-other-parent's wife has, in the past, the annoying habit of wearing dark sunglasses indoors. Inside the children's playroom while reading scripts. Why? Do you think people are going to recognize you? Bother you? No one cares. Preternatural parental love of children trumps supernatural obsession with celebrity. How can you possibly even read with those dark glasses? Are they prescription? Maybe you forgot your contacts at home? Or are you just annoying. I hope for the former but fear it is the latter.

You people are entitled swine. You'll be the first to go when the Revolution comes.

P.S. Ditch the baseball cap and seek out hats from Lock or Bates.

Edu-Babble Part II

Another silly phrase from the education business. The phrase "life-long learning" reads like fund-raising copy, as in "we pride ourselves on preparing our students to be lifelong learners." Perhaps we should file this under "no shit." Especially as one could point to countless uses of this phrase in conjunction with a school's supposed unique or special philosophy. Los Angeles's over-priced and hyper-class-inflected private schools exhibit this tendency to an annoying degree. By definition, every educated person is a "life-longer learner." The whole concept is a fuzzy, feel-good tautology. It's as meaningless a phrase as "we teach kids, not subjects." It's self-important. And it's empty. The real problem is that neither the teachers nor the students, not to mention the administrators (who are business people) care to inculcate themselves or others with the principles under which the educated mind discerns or makes judgment. So good luck with "life-long learning." Sounds more life-sentence.

Lifelong learning. Everyone agrees that people must have the ability to adapt to changes in technology. Buggies gave way to automobiles, and the typewriter gave way to the word processor. Therefore, people must indeed have critical-thinking skills to solve their problems. Hirsh is worried because "the dominant progressive tradition has made a fundamental empirical mistake in believing that these general competencies do not depend upon the accumulation of knowledge and vocabulary, and in believing that transferable lifelong competencies will arise naturally from 'holistic,' integrated activities."
- E D Hirsh on "Lifelong Learning."

I Can't Believe These People Live Like Kings

I can't believe these people live like kings
Hidden estates and diamond rings
I'm a rat out on a mission
I'm in your front yard under suspicion

CLICK

Life is the Crummiest Book...

In my alley around the corner,
Theres a wino with feathered shoulders,
And a spirit giving head for crack and she'll never want it back,
Theres a little kid and his family eating crackers like thanksgiving
And a pack of wild desperados scornful of living.

CLICK

TAG! You're It!

Apparently no one wants anyone else to be it anymore. I've come to feel that these arguments are as disingenuous as those made by parents who advocate that children should "share." Especially when made by the very same parents who, either by necessity or bent, are so competitive and acquisitive, especially so that they can afford the over-priced elite private pre-schools and the fleet of "child-care specialists."

From the New York Times, Dec 14., 2007.

School Recess Gets Gentler, and the Adults Are Dismayed

By Alison Leigh Lowan

MONTVILLE, Conn. — Children at the Oakdale School here in southeastern Connecticut returned this fall to learn that their traditional recess had gone the way of the peanut butter sandwich and the Gumby lunchbox.

No longer could they let off their youthful energy — pent up from hours of long division — by cavorting outside for 22 minutes of unstructured play, or perhaps with a vigorous game of tag or dodgeball. Such games had been virtually banned by the principal, Mark S. Johnson, along with kickball, soccer and other “body-banging” activities, as he put it, where knees — and feelings — might get bruised.

Instead, children are encouraged to jump rope, play with Hula Hoops or gently fling a Frisbee. Balls are practically controlled substances, parceled out under close supervision by playground monitors.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/14/education/14recess.html?_r=1&oref=slogin&pagewanted=print

Enough with the Crocs, already...

There's this species of west side parent who's been infected with the horrible aesthetic of the Croc. Like the Birkenstock before it, this shoe is supposedly favored for its comfort, but really its just a slap in the face of good taste. Favored by those post-hippie granola-munching righteous attendees of the Farmers Market in Santa Monica, or those obscenely wealthy and entitled alterna-Dad's who haunt the west side, the shoe is for the tasteless and the emasculated.

It's particularly egregious to see a parent, with children in tow, and to discover the entire family shod in these plastic blobs. Andy Warhol said that the most bourgeois thing was to fear looking bourgeois. I say that the true revolutionary is the Man in the Brooks Brothers Suit because in many senses a conservative aesthetics is today the most revolutionary stance possible.

With that sentiment in mind, I'd like to suggest classic, timeless alternatives to the Croc. These are suitable for men and women. These looks especially look good on a beautiful woman because the classic, simple and plain design provides a blank slate for beauty.

Among these classic icons of casual elegance are the Bass Weejun and the LL Bean Camp Moc, though I think that due to the offshore labor and cheap material of these once iconic designs, the alternatives offered by New England companies of Alden loafer and Quoddy Canoe Moc are superlative. I also think Russell Moccasin Co. makes the best Camp/Canoe moc.

I also think the Sperry Topsider is going to make a come back. It will grace the New York Times Sunday Styles Section within 9 to 11 months. But like the Weejun, the Topsider is no longer the quality it once was. The smart money knows that Russell currently makes the best boat shoe.

A Second Coming of FDR

I'm so sick of phony, caviar lefties with their token gestures.

I'm sick of the fact that there are children and elderly in this country who are going without adequate health care and shelter.

This season, let's remember all the poor, the weak, the sick and the powerless who you climbed over to get to where you are. I hope you can sleep at night.

We need a second coming of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who remarked "We must lay hold of the fact that economic laws are not made by nature. They are made by human beings".

Edu-Babble Part I

Edu-Speak is rife with phrases that mean little or nothing. That are based not upon fact, but upon ignorant speculation or mis-use. Like the one below which has, as far as I can tell, no basis in science. The field of "education," like the field of "sociology," is one of the most dubious of academic disciplines.

Multiple intelligences. This is psychologist and author Howard Gardner's substitute for IQ. His theory suggests that there are seven domains of ability under which every student can learn: linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal. Hirsch says that Gardner's claims are not supported by mainstream research in psychology. Since these classifications are highly subjective, it is difficult to see how teachers could easily identify and teach to these "intelligences." Nevertheless, the theory has gained popularity among educators because it comfortabley coincides with already existing theories of "individual differences" and "individual learning styles." A distinguished psychologist, George A. Miller, claims that Gardner's specific classifications are "almost certainly wrong." - E. D. Hirsh's Glossary of Education Terms that Every Person Should Know.

Conversation at cocktail party

40-Something dad: "So, what your child-rearing philosophy?"

Me: "What?"

40-S-D: "What philosophy do you follow? You just gotta check out RIE. Have you heard of it?"

Me: "No." (I lied).

40-S-D: "God, I thought you'd have a philosophy."

Me: "I do. It's called: survive & thrive."

40-S-D: "What's that? 'Get out of my way kid'?"

Me: "Sometimes."


Then this half-wit asked me where my child went to school. I told him. And he had responded with a knowing yet somewhat envious look. He told me that his child went to a school with a WASPy-sounding name that happens to be anything but, and that they weren't happy with it. Why is it that all these progressive schools take on the trappings of tradition without the substance?

And then the conversation drifted into the fact that he and his wife had recently begun to see a therapist to prepare themselves and their existing child for the "trauma" of the next child, who would be born soon. The therapist told him to be prepared for his child to act strangely in the company of a new sibling.

Oh, we've turned a corner! What progress! Child-rearing philosophies! Therapists to prepare us for the onslaught of future progeny! Disposable income to be spent on uselessness!